Date Quest

kate winslet

In the February 2013 issue of Ladies’ Home Journal, the article, The Divorced Mom’s Guide to Online Dating (http://www.lhj.com/relationships/divorce/dating-after-divorce/online-dating/), raises some interesting issues. The writer is a single mom in her 40s who, three years after her divorce, decides to re-enter the world of dating. And at the prodding of a friend, she reluctantly agrees to go online. In order to do so, however, she has to “swallow her pride” and tackle what she claims is a “last resort.” The age of the internet taboo is now fully behind us. I understand that when the writer first got into the dating world, computer dating was either a marginal enterprise or non-existent. But times have changed and our mentalities and habits must change with them. People in their 20s and 30s see nothing odd at all about broadening their social and romantic horizons on the internet. It’s an unfortunate generational misconception that cyber dating is embarrassing or desperate. On the contrary, it is both wise and practical. Forty five million Americans are already looking for love online and with longer work hours and greater reliance on computer technology, it would be foolish and short sighted to neglect that one avenue where so many possibilities live.

Once the writer goes online and posts a profile on a traditional and popular dating site, she is inundated with responses and begins her dating adventure. After 37 dates, a lot of time and energy, and a few fleeting romances, she feels sufficiently empowered and desirable to take down her profile and focus her dating efforts offline.

We, at FYFM, wish we could have intervened into two distinct ways. First, had she been on findyourfacemate.com, she could have narrowed her pool of potential dates to those with whom she was really likely to have chemistry based on the scientific theory of facial feature similarities. Kissability was one of her criteria and yet she laments the many dates she has with those with whom she feels no attraction. FYFM does not promise that all matches we make will lead to a sustainable romance, but our goal is to offer the chance to find real chemistry with someone who has similar style and compatible values. A lot less time will be wasted. Second, we would encourage her to stay online. Why not have an even bigger pool of potential partners. After college we don’t many people who spark our interest and fuel our desire. There are only so many singles to whom we feel attracted in any given location; the internet is just another way to help locate them.

Above: Kate Winslet and Ned Rocknroll  Below: Mario Lopez and Courtney Mazza

mario lopez and wife Courtney Mazza

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